Theiz Truss will not die wondering. She’s been prime minister for just over two weeks, most of which she has spent on a tour of the country mourning Queen Elizabeth II, and she’s already torn apart large chunks of her predecessor’s agenda. Makes you wonder how you managed to agree with a word Boris Johnson said. I think ambition takes you to some dark places. Did not matter. Financial rules for cowards! NICs must be canceled! She was surprisingly active for someone whose natural birth tends toward coma.
Another twist on hydraulic fracturing. The 2019 Conservative Party manifesto committed fracking operations to be halted until such time as science indicated it could be done without earthquakes. But that was three years ago. Needless to say, the science hasn’t changed at all, but that’s not good enough for Librium Liz.
She thinks it should have happened. So she took a look at the science and decided the science got it wrong. What we need is a new science. One agrees with it. And imagine what? It has now redefined science and we are all systems go. The power of magical thinking.
left to the business secretary, Jacob Rees-MoggTo explain the changing situation in response to an urgent question from the Shadow Secretary for Climate Change, Ed Miliband. Moggster was in his element. He has never been happier than when he indulges in his fantasies in the nineteenth century. If he could bring back the coal mines he would do. Anything to escape from reality.
There was a short hiatus though, as Rees-Mogg couldn’t find his script. Not surprising, because he doesn’t seem to have one. All he really had to say was that hydraulic fracturing was back on the agenda whether people liked it or not. Like Librium Liz, it appears to be under the delusion that all you have to do is dig a hole somewhere in an area of great national beauty and you’ll have an unlimited supply of gas. Enough to bring the price down to pennies and end global dependence on Russian gas.
Miliband raced a mog as if he was half a wit. Most people do these days. Long gone are the times when MPs admired his bogus manners and arrogant self-confidence, crammed into an oversized undertaker suit. Now people see it as a needy scam.
Miliband asked what he was trying to prove. There was almost no chance for any of this to continue. Most boards of governors will not give planning permission for a garden shed, let alone a fracking site. And even if they did, it wouldn’t change anything. The price of gas will not go down and it will only alienate voters everywhere. It was nothing short of an earthquake charter. What happened to the Conservative Party’s commitment to renewable energy?
Reese-Mogg shrugged his shoulders. People were very nervous about earthquakes. What’s wrong with a little seismic activity? San Francisco was not harmed. Well, far from 1906. We should all get used to some of the bumps. How do we know it wasn’t safe unless a few people died?
Tory MPs Mark Menzies, Greg Knight, Scott Benton, Ruth Edwards and Paul Maynard were all outraged by this accidental deletion of the statement and asked to reassure the government that the government remains true to its promise that it cannot proceed without local approval. Reese-Mogg did not answer this question. You can never trust the locals to make reasonable decisions. It would be much better if drilling companies tried to bribe a few select residents.
Give us a break, Reese-Mogg pleaded. “We’ve only been in government for two weeks.” Eh, make that 12 years old. Besides, he noted that Putin has financed most of the protests against fracking. This came from someone who was part of the Brexit campaign tainted by Russian influence.
At least there was less misrepresentation in the health secretary’s statement about her plan for the NHS. Mainly because Librium Liz didn’t have a plan for that in the first place. Other than making it a little better than it is now. In a way or another. She will be angry when she finds out who made her fall to the ground.
But at least she chose the new health minister wisely. Because when you have no ideas, it is better than Therese Coffee? A woman without imagination and no great mind. But the one who can be counted on to come up with some nonsense on the back of a cigar case.
Covey certainly didn’t disappoint, devising – in the absence of a plan – a memory game. It was for the ambulance. B was for Backlog. C had to take care. D was for the doctor. The E was a ridiculous Eejit sum. Poor Therese. She didn’t realize how shabby and half-enthusiastic her thoughts were.
She apparently didn’t even realize she had moved the goalposts from people able to see a GP within 48 hours under labor to two cross-weeks under Lis liberium. Strictly, she said, people can move on to another GP who also won’t be able to see them if they aren’t so lucky with the first. If they fail to do so, they can do everyone a favor and die.
Did Covey really imagine setting more goals that wouldn’t be met was the answer? Therese looked miserable. Because it turns out that’s exactly what she believed in. We really screwed up.